I’ve got a loud voice.

I know because I can make myself heard over a rave.

I know because I can pitch my voice across a baseball field.

I know because using my voice was once the sweetest joy and I used it like a dog uses its nose… this is a woman that decided; one day as a child, to practice screaming.

I don’t know how loud I can be.

Because I haven’t reached it yet.

But I’ve spent my life holding it in, filtering venom from my tone and keeping the poison inside me because my grown ass man father was too wounded by it.

But I’ve spent my life choking it back, the scream so loud it perveates silence on a microscopic scale.

The sound that would eviscerate me from within to make.

The noise that I know I’m capable of that would shred my throat and tear me in two.

All of me, every muscle, ligament and bone wants to make this noise.

I ride on the crest of that wave of desire to where I make my home.

And hopefully I can keep choking it back.

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