In the town I live, there’s a small hunt going on for a man that committed a sexual assault against a 14 year old girl.

The personally disturbing thing for me is that I asked this guy out last summer. We exchanged emails… which is why his full name looked familiar.

Dude got hired at the dispensary I had worked at and quit at because I didn’t have enough access to understanding how the back end of things was getting run. Where does the money go? Its an important question and the medical marijuana industry (Which I need to make an informed information dump of all the things I know about that… many and varied)… its a long story. Short story is that the medical marijuana industry sadly ends up relying on people who have almost an inability to behave above board– they are tainted by prohibition. This is not that story. This is about Kynan. Not where he worked.

But where he worked still comes into this for a moment. I still went in to get Things from this dispensary. Things. For Reasons. *taps nose conspiratorially* so over the summer while I was coming in every once in a while, I chatted with him and ended up asking him out because I was in the market to woo myself a person.

Emails were exchanged and I sent him a message which never got a response. In the end when I asked him about it on my next time in the shop he shrugged and said he was really busy but offered instead that we could go into the back room and ‘have some fun’.

1) ew. 2) I happened to know there were cameras all up in there and informed him of this.

I left and the next time I went back he had been fired for stealing. Go figure. And I never saw him again until his picture and name popped up on my facebook feed with warnings and attempts to locate his whereabouts.

Here I sit suspecting that my status of 27 year old human that knows what she would enjoy and is seeking it out was probably a turn off. Because terrified actively being victimized fourteen year olds turned out to be his fancy and my first thought is dear god I’m so glad that none of that ever came to pass and holy hell I dodged a bullet. But did I dodge it? Not intentionally. I was actually kind of put out and felt horrible about myself. I really think he dodged me because I’m scary.

What is scary to a man that would commit sexual assault? A woman capable of breaking you? A woman who can and will communicate? Another person that deeply knows themselves and who they are… because they cannot be manipulated?

When I met him he reminded me of lots of young men I had met at various parties over the whole summer… a kid that probably went on vacation at least a few times with his family and was struggling realizing that the real world is a hard ass place compared to childhood somewhere in the spectrum of middle class.

Specifically I use as a descriptive denominator of ‘wealth’ in childhood: someone that went on family vacation at least a few times. I have always described these people in the past as having a ‘fairly wealthy childhood’ and gotten a whole bunch of uproar and objection from my friends who had gone on vacation with the family and did not consider themselves wealthy…

But they are also forgetting that my perception of wealth in childhood is shaped by the fact that I grew up in the Lumpenproletariat. My generally abusive father was on welfare almost perpetually and fancied himself an inventor that deals dope on the side and my mother had a succession of usually horrible jobs (which she was almost always fired from because of a childcare issue) that put clothing on her kids and food in her family’s stomach. I have a very specific view of wealth. And of marijuana.

What I’m getting around to is that as this case unfolds, something’s clear to me. This kid is pretty messed up in his desires, thoughts and actions… why he thought it was better to ask me for a random sexual encounter rather than going on a date with me… I’ll never know, but will forever be grateful. It seems like he targeted younger women specifically. On a local rant and rave page at least one young woman (self identified as a 16 year old) commented on the shared post that this person had followed her and a friend. Offering weed.

This report links in his shoddy online personal security and starts amassing the facts about him.

I haven’t put in to the tip line the very small information about him that I have because A) He doesn’t work at the dispensary anymore and it isn’t open anymore. B) I’m generally troubled seeing his marijuana use linked in with his behaviour and I don’t want to be affiliated at all with this…

Except his marijuana use is TOTALLY tied into his shitty behaviour. The girl from the rant and rave page mentioned that he had offered marijuana to her. And he also offered to smoke with me when he made his pitch for fooling around in the back room.

What happens when you have a thing that people generally have a harder time accessing and yet still desire. This thing: pot, marijuana, weed, becomes their gateway to interacting with people that desire it but lack it. I have seen this time and time again. Hell. I take advantage of it myself. I try not to go to parties or festivals without some greens to share… this is independent from the greens this massive stoner intends to smoke for herself. This is specifically to share and help me connect with people. There are two reasons: first, I am awkward and shy and I know everyone loves weed (in the right context) and second, I enjoy being a female that is doling out the greens. Because this is not as rare as people think it is, but it is a slight anomaly to the seemingly natural order of the-way-things-seem-to-go.

So. Some articles I need to write now because I’m done talking about FuckNut. Mostly I’m feeling a lot of things and needed to get the feelings out.


How prohibition endangers your children more than the drugs themselves.

Marijuana: A personal history and account of how I know more than the average bear.

Marijuana: Not at all male dominated but it sure looks that way. Women’s work in marijuana families: overlooked, unrecognized and why. (Clue: the kids go to social services if both parents go to jail).